Finally, Validation from Mom

When at my parents yesterday, my Mom was asking about the after the funeral luncheon for MIL. I happened to ask Mom why she did not go.

But an invitation was issued at graveside for EVERYONE to attend. I kind of expected her to show. I did not say anything to her at the funeral like "are you coming?" I did not want her there because she is always trying to get me to "make nice" with the ILs and I was not up to the pressure of Mom's hounding me to be the bigger person and being around the ILs at the same time. In fact, my Mom was the most stressful thing about MIL's funeral.

But to the topic of this post. My Mom often says "I feel sorry for JB....", "I like JB", "She probably just (fill in blank as excuse for JB's bad behavior)", "JB has had a hard life", "You need to suck it up, I put up with a lot from my ILs for your Dad", etc.

Sunday, Mom asked me about the dinner. When I answered her, I threw in "why didn't you go?" Not that I wanted her to and not that I asked her. I expected her to say that it was because she didn't get a personal invite.

I loved her unexpected answer. Mom said, "I am not comfortable around your hubbie's family." Of course, I took the chance to say "ME NEITHER."

We take every little bit of validation we can get from the normally unsupportive.

But of course, she isn't comfortable around them. If they weren't my in-laws, she'd talk worse about them than I do -- seeing as how Mom has her nose in the air and ILs are white trash. She did not say why she wasn't comfortable, but I already know.