Emotional Support from my Parents

I was at my parents last night. My Mom has too much curiosity about my MIL's house.

Sister in law thankfully inherits the white elephant. Hubbie has been going and helping her clean out when he gets a chance. I am fine with that as long as he doesn't bring anything home with him (which he does, but that's not the issue here). She is recently separated, and is unable to get help from her hubbie or anyone else.

I was telling my parents some of the things that hubbie is doing to help her. My Dad kept saying that SIL inherited everything, she should have to do it, that my hubbie shold not have to. I told him that SIL is not demanding anything out of him, that she needs help and it's perfectly OK with me if he helps her as long as that is what he wants to do.

All those years of my Mom mostly and my Dad to some extent taking up for MIL/hubbie when hubbie was expected to go above and beyond the call. "Well, she's his Mother....." "She has a hard life......"

She had a hard life because she sat on her butt doing nothing.

Now SIL really needs some help. She is in her mid-50s and alone. She has to figure out what to do with all of that big mess that MIL made, and they think he shouldn't help her.

I suppose this post ended up being more about my parents than my MIL. But to me, an ongoing part of the IL problem was that they never were supportive of me being hurt when DH was enabling MIL. That made me feel more alone (until I found all of you). But now when he is helping someone who needs it, they think he shouldn't.

Part of it is that my parents are always obsessing over who gets what and who was treated unfairly when someone dies. They believe that my hubbie was treated badly because SIL inherited. Me, I think that SIL was treated badly by getting stuck with it and hubbie finally got a blessing.

I do think that they are just now starting to realize what I have been through for the last 23 years.