More About My Feelings About JBs Death -- FREEDOM

I said earlier that I was not sad. But I was not happy either. I was sad for hubbie.

What I feel is a weight off of my shoulders. Relief. Relaxed. The afternoon after having had a nightmare the night before. Like I am breathing fresh air. It's not that I am happy over her death. It's that I now feel free, hence the name of the blog. I am Free of JB, but even more, I am free.

The whole nightmare of the last 23 years seems like just that, a nightmare that I woke up from a little while ago. The whole ordeal of JB seems like something in the distant past.

I feel like my married life is about to start. So many things, that I will discuss in a new post, can be different now. Easier. The gist of it is that I can be more relaxed. I don't have to be sure to make plans ahead of time if I want to get particular dates ahead of MIL getting dates. Before, if I wanted to have July 4, Easter, etc. with hubbie, I had to make plans far ahead of time. Now I am free to take things as they come, free to wait until the last minute to plan, and free to change plans at the last minute.

I feel free to not have to have locks on the closet doors to keep the clan out of what's private when hubbie is hospitalized in case JB and the clan come to my house due to his condition.

75% of the fights hubbie and I have ever had have been over his parents. Now we are free to have our married life on our own -- to succeed and fail at on our own, without the outside inteference.