Just Realized that Mother's Day is Coming Panic-Free

This is the second Mothers day without having to worry about evil JB. I can go visit my Mom in peace and not worry how badly evil JB is draining from my sweet hubbie.

The ahhh about it is that it's taking me longer and longer to realize that I was not worrying. The worrying part is so far in the background. I was looking at the MIL's board and saw people panicing about Mother's Day, how their MIL's were making demands of their DIL's. And I remembered, Oh, yes, I used to panic about Mother's day. It wasn't even thinking until now how nice it was not to panic, that the panic has moved that far off my radar.

I see that I posted on Mothers day last year. I'll be going back to read what I said last year.

Double ahhh!

First Mood From Hubbie

I was worried about all of the first this and first that's after JB died. He was really pretty even in his moods over the year, even Christmas and the various anniversaries of deaths and birthdays.

OK, so right after Easter, he's in a really crabby mood. When Hubbie went to visit Evil JB and her Evil hubbie EJ, he always came home in a rotten mood, kind of a mean mood. I called it the "in-law hangover."

Sunday and Monday he was in that particular mood. I remember being at work thinking how I used to always be able to blame it on his Mother when he was in that mood, but now I couldn't. Later in the day, I remembered that it was right after a holiday. Not only that, but my Dad had been in town Friday night. I decided that perhaps because of the holiday, he had his parents on his mind and got into that mood he gets into with me after he'd had involvement with them.

I posted about this on the message board and got some interesting feedback:
From one:
"Men like your husband don't truly have mothers, instead they have a self surviving burden in the place of a mother."

And another response which really sums it up in a way that I never considered:
"Not only is he NOT coping with the emotional mess of a lifetime of dysfunction, but he's also lost his 'hero' badge. Every holiday of his life, from the sound of it, was spent 'rescuing' people, and now he doesn't even have the good feelings from bailing someone out on the holiday."