Fake Breast Cancer

Several years ago, JB had a lump removed from her breast. Hubbie's sister called pretty soon after and told us that it was very tiny and it was not cancer.

The rest of her life, she presented herself to the world as a breast cancer survivor. I know breast cancer survivors and they have been through hell getting through it, not through getting one benign lump removed.

Now my sister may have breast cancer. They say probably not, but I am nervous for her. We won't know for a couple weeks. It brought me back to being angry at MIL for saying that she'd had it when she had not.

How EJ (JB's Hubbie) and JB Died

FIL - EJ died from a hospital pneumonia. He went in complaining of stomach pains. They never found what was causing them. I didn't know if I believed him or not, but he did go through a lot to get attention. They did endoscopy, colonoscopy and other tests. This was after him going in several times, being given Prilosec, and sent home. To my knowledge, they never tested him for food poisoning or food-derived illnesses. Re-read the nasty house post -- think that was a possibility? When they were getting ready to send him home, his lungs started filling with fluid. Hubbie said he didn't have the strength to fight it because he'd had nothing to eat for a week due to the tests. Hospital Pneumonia.

(I described the house nastiness in my other blog)

MIL-JB went into the hospital complaining of vague stomach ailments as well. When she had been there for about 24 hours, she went in to "septic shock". Her blood pressure dropped and she became unconscious. She had just eaten when she went to the hospital. I did some looking. There are some forms of food illness that can (rarely) cause sepsis. There are some hospital bugs that go around that can cause that too.

The hospital is not a good one. My own Grandmother died in the same hospital. GM was old and had incurable cancer, but there is a good chance that a medication error shortened her life. (Which in my GM's case was not necessarily bad considering her age and condition.) Also I had an Aunt that died due to a cancer that was not diagnosed that SHOULD have been diagnosed and would have been curable if it had been. Her Dr. was at the same hospital.

I still wonder if both MIL and FIL initiated their final stays due to undiagnosed food borne illness considering that it's really not checked for that much, they both had gastric complaints, that there was lots of potential for food poisoning in their house. With an already incompetent hospital, would they find something an competent one usually does not find?

Ohhh that smell

There are two things covered in this post. Part of this was posted on the MIL support board, but I have added some information to this, including what comes first, also removed some changes in fact. Sometimes when posting on the support board, I change minor facts that do not change the gist of the story just for disguise. In this case, on the support board, I was talking about boxes and left what was in the boxes kind of generic. The true story is it was Six Large garbage bags full of Tupperware.


But first some back story that will seem totally unrelated until I get to the end of the posting.

I love strawberries and making strawberry pies. Last year when eating strawberries, I noticed I was itching some. I made two strawberry pies yesterday -- one for Mom and one for us. After eating a small piece, I was itching all over. Last year, it was only around my mouth and wrists that I was itching. I ended up taking some benedryl, but it didn't help. I really hope it isn't strawberries.

When hubbie went to help his sister clean his Mom's house out, he called and wanted to know if I knew anyone having any yard sales. There was a lot of extra tupperware that they did not know what to do with. I told him that I did know of a couple charity groups having some. So he came home with SIX large garbage bags full.

My Mom and sister found out about it and they wanted to go through it. I didn't want anything from JB's around because I didn't want anything to remind me. I decided to look through it and see if there was anything that I wanted myself. I had gotten rid of everything that comes from her house because it only reminded me of her, but it seems that not having the stuff doesn't get her off the mind, so what the heck? My friend was coming over yesterday to look through it and see if there was anything I wanted.

I mentioned in a blog post yesterday that when I started going it I smelled the smell of her house. I can't really say what the smell is, but it is it's own. I never thought much of her house having a smell before, until smelling it out of place. Friend, Mom, and sis did not notice any smell when going through the stuff yesterday and today. And when friend was over yesterday going through it, I did not smell anything during that time.

OK, so last night I am itching, thinking that unfortunately it was from the pie.

The hard part came when t I bags in my van today to take to Mom's for Mom and sis to look through. When I left home, the smell hit me again, quickly and unexpectedly. I had sort of forgotten it was back there. But the smell just hit me so that I could not ignore it. The smell emanated the van so much that I didn't think I could get out of the neighborhood. And it even hit me in the stomach to almost making me nauseous. I thought I was going to have to turn around. Luckily, it is a nice day. I opened the passenger side window, the sun roof and the back vents and ran the outside air fans on full blast and got away from most of it. When I got back home, the bags of stuff that they didn't take went out of the van and into the yard immediately. Hubbie got home right after I did and carried them back to his workshop. I left both sliding doors, the sunroof and the hatch open in the yard for a while to air it out. In the garage, I left the side doors and sunroof open a while longer. Smelling it made me feel kind of nauseous. I also started itching again when I was smelling the smell, so I wondered if the itching was because of smelling that tupperware/garbage bag/JB smell instead of the strawberries.

I also have a nauseous feeling and still kind of smell that smell. Now I wonder why I feel nauseous. I used to feel nauseous at her house all the time and I sort of thought it was the stress of being around her. Now I wonder, was the nausea from the stress or from some kind of fumes from the stuff in her house? Or did smelling that smell bring back the feeling and make me feel nauseous again -- was it in my mind?

I ate more strawberries and I am also itching again. Is the itching from the strawberries, from the Tupperware, or from the MIL-related stress? The benedryl didn't work last night. I am getting ready to go take some more.

And now the memory of that smell is ingrained in me and I am smelling it right now, even though the stuff has been taken back to hubbie's workshop until a charity yard sale he is taking the leftovers to.

I am also grinding my teeth again. My physician had recommended that I get counseling because teeth-grinding is often MIL-related. I did not get counseling then, but got counseling later on account of MIL.

Oh and when it goes to the yard sale -- it is going in the bed of the pickup truck. I don't know if I will be transporting it or if hubbie will be. But, if it is me, hubbie will le me drive his precious truck. It's not going back inside my van again.

The Tupperware

JB was a tupperware dealer at one time. She was obsessed with the stuff.

After giving all away that she could get rid of, Hubbie's sister sent the rest home with him to dontate to our church yard sale for missions. For years, she gave everyone tupperware and her relatives already had lots. A friend of mine wants to look through it before I donate it to see if there is anything she wants.

I long ago got rid of a bunch of my tupperware to keep from having things around that remind me of her. As it turns out, it didn't get her off of my mind. So I was thinking, maybe I should look through it first to see if there is anything in there that I can use. There are SIX LARGE SIZE garbage bags full. I opened the first and started looking through it. It turns out that when I opened it, it smelled like MIL's house. Smelling that smell brought back horrible feelings. So I decided not to try to get any out. I am supposed to let my friend look through it tomorrow and my Mom and sister look through it on Sunday. I am not sure how I will handle it.

That was the first time I have gotten that pit in my stomach since she died.