First Mood From Hubbie

I was worried about all of the first this and first that's after JB died. He was really pretty even in his moods over the year, even Christmas and the various anniversaries of deaths and birthdays.

OK, so right after Easter, he's in a really crabby mood. When Hubbie went to visit Evil JB and her Evil hubbie EJ, he always came home in a rotten mood, kind of a mean mood. I called it the "in-law hangover."

Sunday and Monday he was in that particular mood. I remember being at work thinking how I used to always be able to blame it on his Mother when he was in that mood, but now I couldn't. Later in the day, I remembered that it was right after a holiday. Not only that, but my Dad had been in town Friday night. I decided that perhaps because of the holiday, he had his parents on his mind and got into that mood he gets into with me after he'd had involvement with them.

I posted about this on the message board and got some interesting feedback:
From one:
"Men like your husband don't truly have mothers, instead they have a self surviving burden in the place of a mother."

And another response which really sums it up in a way that I never considered:
"Not only is he NOT coping with the emotional mess of a lifetime of dysfunction, but he's also lost his 'hero' badge. Every holiday of his life, from the sound of it, was spent 'rescuing' people, and now he doesn't even have the good feelings from bailing someone out on the holiday."

I'm Hurting

My neighbor's daughter just came by. She was looking for her father. She wanted to drop off her 4yo son because her hubbie's grandmother was at the hospital dying. She did not make it to the hospital. She got a call that the grandmother had died while at our house. Her hubbie had not made it either.

Hubbie advised neighbor's daughter to go to the hospital anyway. He was talking about when his Mother JB died and wanting people there.

He called me the morning that JB died and told me that they were going to remove life support. But he did not want me there. He called me after she died, but he did not want me to come. He did not want me until the wake/funeral.

I did not care to be around her, but I wish he had wanted me around to support him. I have always been hurt about that. It's another way she drove a wedge between hubbie and me.